I always find it incredibly
amusing to see women fawning over Patrick "Dr McDreamy" Dermott, and that's not
just because I have self respect and they don't, but also because I just
can't kick the image of him as that scrawny dork in Can't Buy Me Love,
or playing that scrawny dork in the Fast Times TV series, or just for
some range, playing that scrawny dork in Meatballs III. To me he's just
like that kid who changed his haircut and changed schools. We know the truth. There's no
denying he's still a dork.
 Anywhoo,
Meatballs III. I love this movie and it's a shame that it's
the only one yet to make it to DVD. Even 4 is getting a look in (Go
Feldog Go!), so hopefully it won't be too long before Meatballs III
isn't just some out of print VHS. I was lucky enough to catch it on the
Comedy Channel last month, and I really should have recorded it to DVD.
Well I would have if I wasn't so poor and actually had a DVD recorder.
I managed to source a copy through *ahem* other means, which means I am
able to bring you pretty captures to make up for a mediocre review.
Rudy is a dork of epic proportions (I know we already covered that),
who is headed off to
work a summer job at a boathouse. He's also a horny virgin whod who is
desperate to get laid. He arrives at the boathouse to find that the
cruisy job he expected is no longer a reality, as the boathouse has
been sold to a fierce looking biker named Mean Gene. On top of that,
the kids from school who love to make fun of him are also vacationing
where he is working, and a weird, creepy local girl is determined to
get in his pants. Rudy may be desperate, but even he feels there are
plenty of better options for him than Wendy. He's sleeping in a shed
and spending his days working his butt off. Rudy feels like giving up,
but all hope is not lost. Unbeknownst to Rudy his favourite porn star
Roxy Dujour has just died
filming her latest movie and needs to do a good deed in order to earn
her
wings and get into heaven, and it appears helping Rudy is exactly what
she needs to get into that big film studio in the sky.
Roxy, who can only be seen by Rudy, takes him under her wing and tries
to show him how to be a man and attract the ladies. But Rudy has enough
problems of his own without this meddling would-be angel telling him
how he should walk and dress. Tom, an older kid and his idiot friends
won't stop making Rudy the butt of their jokes and his new boss Mean Gene
is a slave driver who is ripping him off. Gene has a reputation of beating the living snot out of anyone who looks at
his lady "the love goddess", a beautiful blonde constantly dressed in
lingerie who never leaves her room. And to top things off, Wendy just won't get the hint that he isn't interested.
 Roxy
isn't giving up on her only chance to get into heaven, and with a
little persistence, it isn't long before Rudy finally begins to listen
to her. She teaches him some important lessons about confidence and how
he should compose himself, and for a while it appears to be working.
Rudy actually cleans up his
act and starts to score some ladies. But after a couple of disasters
with a violent biker chick and the partially blind wet t-shirt contest
winner, it becomes clear that even Roxy's views on what women want may
be a little bit skewed. Frustrated, Rudy decides to call it a day. He
doesn't want Roxy's help
anymore and tells her to leave. He's had enough of everything, and he's
packing up and heading home.
But before he can go, he unknowingly uncovers a scam betting system Tom
has set up make cash off sending people up to try and score with the
love goddess, before Gene beats the crap out of them. All summer long,
no one has been able to get near her and Tom has been raking in the
cash betting on Gene throwing guys out the window, but when Tom and his
friend
figure out that Gene has slipped away for the day they figure they can
make a ton of cash off people betting that their man will get to the
Love Goddess without Gene knowing about it. Since it's the complete
opposite of what has been happening all summer, everyone is betting
high. Amidst all the drama, Rudy decides that the only way
to prove that he's a man is to go up there himself and score with Mean
Gene's lady.
 Unfortunately
for Rudy, some intervention from Wendy results in Gene coming back
early, and he's really going to
need all the help he can get from a certain deceased porn star with
magical
powers. Roxy has come to some realisations of her own - that maybe her
good deed isn't helping Rudy to score after all. What she really needs
to do is help him find real love.
Apparently, this movie was made as a tax write off, but I've always
found it really fun and entertaining. Sally Kellerman has this great sultry air about her and seems to pull off
slutty really well (she was the judge in the completely awesome Moving Violations) and Shannon
Tweed (The Love Goddess) was incredibly beautiful before she started
getting plastic surgery. I mean, there's nothing wrong with her now,
but damn she was hot in the 80's! No wonder she was once Hef's girlfriend and managed to land herself Gene Simmons.
Overall a good way to spend 90 minutes curled up on the couch with some
junk food. I highly recommend it. Even if just to laugh at Patrick
Dempsey.
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Year: 1986
