Well
I think I got this movie (on a Jill Schoelen figurative boner) back in
October, but I didn't sit down and watch it until today. After watching
the movie, my first thought was that this movie was so heavily
plagiarised by American Pie that they might as well have just come out
and said they were remaking Hot Moves. But then again, the amount of
people who have seen Hot Moves versus those that haven't is probably a
large enough amount that the people responsible for American Pie
figured they could get away with it. Kind of like the Coldplay/Satriani
argument. But let's not get started on that. We'll be here all day.
 Barry,
Michael, Joey and Scotty are four young men with a problem. They only
have the summer left before they start their senior year of high
school, but they are still virgins - and they see this as a massive
problem for their social development. Michael has a girlfriend, Julie
Ann (Jill!), but she doesn't seem to crash hot on the idea of having
sex with him and is starting to get annoyed that it seems to be the
only thing on his mind. Michael is annoyed too. He's put in six months,
and yet he still can't get in her pants. Michael's brother comes
along with the somewhat promiscuous (putting it nicely) Heidi who seems
to have taken a shine to Michael, and the guys think he's crazy for not
jumping at the chance to be with her.
Hanging out at the bowling alley that evening, the four boys decide
that this is the summer that they become men, and they make a pact to
help each other in any way possible to lose their virginity before the
summer is over. Barry manages to luck out straight away, and scores a
rather promising looking date with a waitress from the bowling alley.
Things don't go exactly as planned for Barry, as he somehow manages to
start a fire in her house. The rest of the guys (who happened to be
peeping through the window outside) burst into the house and douse the
pair with water. Needless to say Jamie isn't impressed, and she isn't
too happy with Barry either. Strike one!
 Next
stop, the nudist beach! The boys sneak down a rocky cliff face and set
up Barry's father's prized binoculars, and before long they are
watching dozens of completely naked women run, swim and sunbathe on the
beach below them. As Michael, Joey and Scotty fight over who gets to
peep next, Barry decides that there must be a way to get closer to the
action. Before the other guys even notice he's gone, Barry has made his
way down the cliff face and is standing on the beach, dumbstruck by the
nudity that surrounds them. Surprised that they suddenly see their
friend (sporting a giant boner mind you) in the binoculars scope, they
accidentally drop the binoculars on to the rocks below - leaving Barry
rather upset.
Joey decides that his best option for getting laid is to head down to
Hollywood Boulevard and find himself a hooker, and as promised, the
rest of the guys will do whatever it takes to help him. After a rather
scary encounter with the owner of an adult book store, and mistaking a
woman waiting for a bus for a lady of the night, the boys finally find
some hookers only to discover they are a bit short on cash. Barry tries
to bargain with one of them, only for her to beat him up when he calls
her a whore.
 Scotty
thinks he might be on to something when a lady dressed in lingerie
invites him inside whilst he is delivering papers. She makes it very
clear that a subscription is the last thing on her mind, but she isn't
exactly who she claims to be.
Michael tries once more to patch things up with Julie Ann, but once
again the conversation always turns back to the fact that they aren't
doing it. Frustrated at being turned down when asking her to gop out
with him, Michael leaves. He doesn't yet know that Julie Ann has a date
with a hunky lifeguard named Roger that seems to have taken a fancy to
her. Dejected and angry at Julie Ann, he decides to take his brothers
advice and calls Heidi. Despite the short notice she manages to
organise dates for the rest of Michael's friends and is keen to meet up
with him the following night.
Heidi's friends aren't too keen on the boys at first, but luckily
for them they are pretty darn slutty and their opinions of their dates
seem to change as the alcohol starts flowing. They end up at the
bowling alley after some mini golf and drinks and that's where Michael
sees Julie Ann with the Roger. He loses his temper and confronts him,
only to have Roger throw him into the wall. Julie Ann is concerned for
him, but is cut off by Heidi who loudly proclaims she will take him
back to her place and "patch him up".
 Back
at Heidi's the boys seem to be doing well with their respective dates,
and everything seems to be on track for their pact to be resolved that
very evening. Heidi takes Michael to her bedroom, but all he can think
about is Julie Ann. He leaves Heidi, and his apparently quite busy
friends behind to go look for her.
Julie Ann, as can be expected, has her hands full with Roger who
expects a little more than a quick kiss in return for their date.
Michael arrives just in time to save her and she finally realises how
lucky she is to have him. He also realises that sex isn't as important
as she is, and agrees to wait until she is ready.
This movie was good, but one thing I did think was odd, was the amount
of filler footage. The movie itself runs for 85 minutes, but at least
20 of that is footage of random people skating, dancing, singing or
working out. I guess they really needed to pad the movie out to try and
stretch it for 90 minutes. It's a good movie, a lot of fun and clearly
the "inspiration" behind American Pie.
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Year:
1985
