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You know, In the space I had between last
week and starting my new job this week, I wanted to watch as many movies and
write as many reviews as I possibly could, just to get my site a lil more
beefed up before I would have to begin neglecting it again. Well it's now
Tuesday, I'm at work and I am only just beginning to write this first
review. What a slacker. And you know how many movies I watched last week?
Two.
Let
us begin with the Burning. I had always had a slight interest in this
film due to the cover always being pretty graphic, and that the make-up
effects were done by Tom Savini. But lets be honest here. If I were a
guy I would have a total hard on over the "teenagers in the woods get
slaughtered". I'm a real old school slasher fan. So sue me. (Never mind
the fact that I just purchased the Mighty Ducks Box set...that's a
secret fetish).
Where were we? Oh yes, the Burning. made in 1981
(just like me or thereabouts). One of the things that really caught me about
this flick is that it actually does contain real teenagers!! Not all of them -
but there are some in there. (I felt the need to look this up after seeing Tiger
- a surprisingly young looking female in the movie smoking a cigarette...she was 15 at the
time...tsk tsk.) The film also has some other notable totables, being that nerd
guy from Fast Times at Ridgemont High (that guy is just doomed to look nerdy
forever and will forever play a nerd) and also Jason Alexander...very very pre
Seinfeld and also sporting a healthy teenage libido and full head of hair. The
girls seemed to like him, but personally, I couldn't go him, he will always be
George Costanza to me.
As I said earlier, the film takes place at a
camp, well two actually. It starts at a summer camp where a group of young boys
plan to play a prank on Cropsy, the freaky old alcoholic caretaker who was
obviously named after a pet bunny rabbit. Cropsy. Not very imposing is it.
Cropsy. "Grrr!!! I'm Cropsy!!! Fear my wrath!!!" Nope. Not gettin it. Anywhoo,
their prank backfires and Cropsy catches on fire and is sent to hospital where
he remained for five years (check out the crash helmet on the burning Cropsy).
They let him out, without thinking that this grossly disfigured man may have
some mental scarring after five years of skin grafts that didn't take, and he
butchers a...erm, lady of the night. Cut to a new camp and a new bunch of snot nosed kids!! YAY!!
I want them all to die! There's about half an hour of fake scares before anyone
at the camp finally bites the big one, but when we get to that point! Boy do we
get the carnage candy! Hello Dad! I'm in Jail! (Did I mention I also watched Pump Up The Volume?)
The UK video release was cut by 19 seconds to
remove various scenes of violence, particularly some finger snipping. Although
the original UK release by Thorn EMI was the cut cinema version, it was released
uncut in error. Thorn EMI recalled the tapes, and replaced them with the cut
version. Cut versions have a date stamp on the tape label, all other packaging
is identical. The uncut version was prosecuted under the obscene publications
act, and banned as a "video nasty". In late 2002, VIPCO in the UK finally
released the uncut version of The Burning on VHS and DVD after it was passed by
the BBFC with no cuts. This version is distinguished by the "uncut" label on it,
but was later found to still have some cuts in the movie.
The US theatrical release was sloppily cut by
approximately 45 seconds to achieve an "R" rating. Gore shots that were
shortened or deleted altogether. The uncut version was finally released on video
in the USA in 2001 under an exclusive Amazon.com label which can only be
purchased over the Internet (although Amazon.com mistakenly advertise it as the
R version).
The Australian cinema version was
slightly trimmed by the film's distributor prior to submission to the
censorship board. However, the video version (incredibly) passed the
Australian censors complete and uncut, and remains a highly sought
after item. (I have it! YEAH!) The Uncut version is also available
on DVD from German distributors Dragon, however due to German
censorship laws which restrict the availability of uncut releases, it
is a little difficult to track down.
Heres some boring trivia from IMDB. We don't wanna read this stuff!! We wanna hear how that guy is a
recovering crack addict and that chick shot her mother!! Where's the juicy goss!
We started out good with that underage smoking stuff - are you guys sure she
didn't progress to crack?
Feature film debut of Jason Alexander, Fisher
Stevens, and Holly Hunter.
Many people also claim that there was an early
appearance by Laurence Fishburne, (My note: It looks nothing like Laurence
Fishburne!!) as the hospital orderly whose arm is grabbed by Cropsy's
horrifically burnt hand just before the opening title sequence. This actor was
actually Mansoor Najeeullah
This the film that launched the careers of
acclaimed producers Harvey Weinstein and Bob Weinstein. Their mother Miriam
Weinstein is also as a pre-production assistant on the film.

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