Dirk Benedict is my new favourite actor, and Body Slam is my new
favourite movie. Ok, well maybe the last statement is a stretch, but it
really does warm my heart to know that after many, many years of
tracking down, buying, watching and reviewing B-Movies, I still find
gems like this.
This movie was released in 1987, which would have made me four. Tack on
a couple of years for it to reach our sunny shores and I can guarantee
you that as a six year old, this would have been the cinematic
masterpiece that defined my life. It's got wrestlers! It's got Face from
the A-Team! It's got a kid that looks like Punky Brewster! Where on
earth is the DVD of this movie? Cmon folks! Circulate it to the masses
so we can all witness it's greatness without having to buy a worn out
VHS off eBay. Just like I did.
 The fabulous Mr Dirk Benedict (Face from the A-Team, Starbuck from
Battlestar Galactica) stars as M. Harry Smilac, a washed up con artist
music manager whose mouth is much larger than his clientele. He's up to
his eyeballs in debt with a very unfriendly Korean loan shark, his
Ferrari has been repossessed and he's just about to get evicted from his
office. Despite sending him a cheque that would have bounced a week ago,
Harry turns to his lawyer Shapiro to help him out. Shapiro agrees to
solve all his hassles, provided he help him out with an upcoming benefit
concert for a stuffy politician. Harry reluctantly agrees - knowing full
well that the only talent he has on his books is a garage glam rock band
called Kicks.
Harry heads down to the convention centre anyway to see what he can do,
and inadvertently interrupts a meeting between a sleazy booking agent
and professional wrestler Quick Rick Roberts (Rowdy Roddy Piper). Harry
mistakes Rick for a musical act and offers him his services, only
finding out how much trouble he's really in when Rick's former manager
Captain Lou Murano (Captain Lou Albano - a lot of thought there huh?)
turns his goons/tag team champs on to him. Harry doesn't know the first
thing about wrestling and he's in for a world of hurt.
 Meanwhile, Harry still owes Shapiro that favour, and after fudging his
way through a small conference regarding exactly what kind of talent he
has booked for the benefit, Harry meets Candace, the lovely daughter of
the woman he's organising the benefit for. With a few smooth lines and
some dodgy scenarios, he manages to get in Candace's good graces and
with all Harry's ducking and diving about the show he is supposedly
booking, Candace's mother is less than pleased about it.
Down, but not out, Harry decides to make a go of being a professional
wrestling manager. How hard can it be? But in between being chased by
Murano's goons and being called a faggot by a midget on national TV,
Harry learns the hard way that this is no east road. Needless to say his
benefit gig is a humungous flop, and now Shapiro wants his head, Candace
won't talk to him. Even Kicks think he's a no good scoundrel. But when
Quick Rick and his tag partner Tonga Tom wind up hospitalised after a
tag match, he knows he's hit rock bottom.
 Then Harry has an idea. A rock & wrestling tour! Take Kicks and his tag
team on the road playing small town venues. It isn't long before word
spreads about this rock & wrestling tour and everyone starts to take
notice...even Lou Murano.
I really like the aesthetics in this movie (if you can believe I am am
actually looking that far into it). Wrestling is a joke nowadays, but I
really love the way that we all used to believe it was real and all the
figures were just larger than life. To use a wrestling term if I may,
kayfabe, isn't broken in any way and it's nice to see a sort of
simplicity and fun in wrestling where in this day and ages you have dead
wrestlers widows participating in storylines. Truly tasteless.
Enough of my wrestling bagging though. Dirk Benedict is great as M.
Harry Smilac, he's kind of like a combination of Face and Starbuck with
a little less conscience. Candace is actually played by Tanya Roberts,
who I've previously seen in Beastmaster and on That 70's show. There's
also a ton of wrestlers floating about in this movie if you look hard
enough. I rate it highly, as dumb fun goes - it's way up there.
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Year:
1987
