This was somewhat disappointing. Yeah yeah, I know all the reviews that I've written lately seem to be about movies I didn't like, but they are the easiest to remember. Mediocre films just don't stay in ones head too long. This is not the case with John Carpenters Body Bags. Personally, I don't think that anything John has done, or will do, will ever top Halloween - which is saying something, especially if you ask Bob Clark. But I'll admit that I'm incredibly biased. Halloween is up there in my list of favourite movies. Body Bags however, is not. I paid five bucks for a brand new VHS copy at a video sale in Burwood. If I'd have paid any more, I would've been spewing.

This is the film that contains more directors than it does actors. John Carpenter himself is in this film. Along with Wes Craven, Tobe Hooper, Roger Corman & Sam Raimi. That was somewhat surprising. The film consists of three short tales, with corny lines from Carpenter as a formaldehyde drinking mortician in between. The first tale is THE GAS STATION where a young female student starts her new job as a night gas station attendant on the same night that a psycho killer is on the loose. She goes through all the usual suspenseful things, such as getting locked out when there's a maniac around, and having a mysterious bum fall asleep in the toilets. Motto of this story: Never trust the squeaky clean guy because he's a psycho machete wielding lunatic. Lessons for life there.

Next is HAIR where a balding guy will do anything to keep his youthful looks. It is interfering with his life and he thinks that nobody could like a bald man, despite the protests of his girlfriend. He signs up for a strange new program, (where Deborah Harry is a plump, very horny nurse) and the next day he has hair. But it doesn't stop growing! And its alive!! Motto to this story: Hair implants are really alien parasites hell-bent on taking
over your body and the world.

Last of all is EYE. Mark Hamill plays a baseballer who loses an eye in a car accident. With radical surgery they replace it but with the eye of a serial killer. This story was gross. I NEVER wanted to see Luke Skywalker having sex and now I am scarred for life. Anywho, the eye starts to affect him and he keeps trying to kill his wife (Twiggy). It has something to do with her being blonde. Motto for this story: Never get an eye transplant because not only will you look stupid, but you will freak out and try and kill your wife, if she's blond that is, and THEN you will stick pruning shears in your head.