Would
you believe that I'm actually afraid of writing this review? I must
have seen this movie at least fifty times (and that's really no
exaggeration), but I've never plucked up the courage to sit down and
write a review for this movie - which I honestly feel is a cinematic
masterpiece. If I hadn't done away with my rating system, this would
easily be a five out of five. This movie made me feel like my teenage
angst wasn't so epic afterall, and also made me want a Lane Meyer of my
very own. Despite what John himself may have to say about his body of
work from the 80's, I adore everything he touched from Say Anything
backwards, with this movie being my pick for best John Cusack movie
ever. Yes, even better than Sixteen Candles. I said it. Sue me.
 Lane
Meyer (Cusack) has an unhealthy obsession with his girlfriend Beth
(Amanda Wyss). His walls are plastered with her photos - even adorning
the coat hangers in his closet, so when she breaks up with him to go
out with the captain of the school ski team, Roy Stalin, Lane is
considerably upset - to the point where he wishes to end his life, but
somehow this comes across as highly comical. Deranged, I know, but
Lane's death wish leads him in to all sorts of odd situations.
On top of Lane's newly acquired single status and consequent bullying
at school from Roy, he also has to deal with his annoyingly silent
genius brother, his mother's inept cooking skills, a psychopathic
paperboy, the asian guys who want to drag race him all the time, his
dorky neighbours and his own ability to always say the wrong thing at
the wrong time. No wonder he's trying to hang himself in the garage
with an electrical cord.
But Lane isn't about to give up on Beth easily. In between suicide
attempts, he surmises that if he can ski the K-12 run at the ski
slopes, he will be a hero and a better skier than Roy and Beth will
have to take him back. Unfortunately for him, the K-12 is the most
treacherous run on the slopes - and few have ever skied the run and
returned in one piece. Lane's best friend Charles De Mar tries his best
to keep Lane from taking his life, either by means of suicide or skiing
the K-12. That is, when he isn't snorting snow off the mountains or
drinking egg-nog with lighter fluid.
 Meanwhile,
across the road at Lane's dorkhead neighbours the Smith's
place, Ricky and his mother have a French exchange student by the
name of Monique staying with them. Ricky's mother seems to think that
Monique will be romantically interested in her tragic son and tries to
push the two together, much to Monique's disgust. Ricky gives her a
framed photo of himself for Christmas which she finds hysterical, but
back at Lane's house, his Christmas isn't looking much better. A phone
call to Beth confirms that the present Lane bought her in no way
compares to what Roy bought her, and that coupled with the amazing TV
dinners that Lane got as gifts this year is more than enough for
another suicide attempt.
To make matters worse, Lane's father is forcing him to begin dating
again - starting with his law partners daughter who pretty much has a
satellite attached to her head. Lane is supposed to take her to the New
Years dance at school and figuring that he is a stud and she is a
hideous beast, he thinks she will be swooning at a chance to go out
with him. Unfortunately he couldn't be more wrong. Despite Joanna not
being a prime catch herself, she still thinks Lane is too much of a
dork for her, and using her obviously inherited accountancy skills,
stings Lane for half the cost of their "date" and calls it a night.
Dejected, Lane goes to the dance alone only to suffer more insults from
Roy. Lane does get to meet Monique though, who has been forced to go to
the dance with Ricky. The two share a brief meeting with few words but
a lot of handshakes before Ricky's mother whisks her away from the
bothersome Meyer boy. Lane's night of disaster isn't over though, as
the local paperboy and his friends try to chase him down for the two
dollars owed to them by the Meyers.
 Monique
takes a further liking to Lane after being introduced to him during a
dinner at the Meyer's house, where Lane in the midst of another suicide
attempt accidentally blows up Ricky's mother. Monique is intrigued by
Lane, but can't seem to figure out why he wants to kill himself all the
time. Feeling bad at having blown up Ricky's mom, Lane offers to drive
Monique and Ricky to school the following day, but is once again
accosted by same pair of Asian guys who speak no English - apart from
Wide World of Sports and once again they're up for a race. Lane tries
to ignore them but Monique slams his foot down on the accelerator. Lane
loses the race and ends up crashing in to a duck pond. Monique finds
this hilarious, and Lane starts to see some humour in the situation as
well. Later that day at lunch, Roy shows up again to antagonise Lane
and hit on Monique. Lane loses his cool and challenges Roy to a race at
the K-12 that weekend. And once again for Lane, his life turns back to
thoughts of death and destruction.
 Things
aren't too easy for Monique either. Unbeknownst to the Smiths, she
speaks perfect English but has been pretending that she does not
understand to get out of having conversations with Ricky and his
mother. Lane catches her out and she opens up to him about how terrible
it is living with Ricky and his mother. Monique has many talents and is
a natural motivator and begins helping Lane tidy up the loose ends in
his life. Starting with the utterly amazing, but completely wrecked
1969 Camaro sitting on his front lawn. Before long Lane and Monique
have it running and finally put those Asian drag racing fiends to
shame! But in the midst of his celebrations and new found feelings for
Monique, Lane forgets all about his race with Roy. Monique knows that
deep within Lane is the heart of a champion, and that he can do
anything he puts his mind to. She proceeds to give him lessons, in both
skiing, and also Mrs Smiths "international language". Suddenly, killing
himself is the last thing on Lane's mind.
The time has come for Lane to face his fears and race Roy down the
K-12. He's no longer interested in winning Beth back, now the only
thing at stake is his newly discovered ability to succeed, which
Monique has helped bring out in him.
There are many things I haven't mentioned in this review, like Lane's
job and even Barney Rubble asking if he can take Beth on a date, but if
you haven't seen Better Off Dead, it's best you watch it yourself!
Everytime you watch this movie, you will pick up things that you didn't
see the last time you watched it, and if I covered absolutely
everything in my review we would be here for ten years. I can't
recommend this movie highly enough.
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Year: 1985
